I finally did it. I published my first (and perhaps only) non-fiction book. It’s for writers. Any type. It transcends experience and inexperience; success and failure; genre, gender, and generation. I’m not kidding. I wrote this book because I’ve spent so many years critiquing in workshops and reading books and thinking, “just do THIS or just do THAT to make this book so much better.”

You may be thinking, “Egotistical a-hole, what does he think he knows that I don’t?”

You may be right. But I bet you aren’t. Yeah, a percentage of writers who read this and take the Pepsi challenge will (being honest with themselves, now) end the book thinking, “I do all of those things and more; I went in open-minded and it was a good book but I did not learn a single important thing.”

But I’m betting six bucks and my right testicle that a HUGE percentage of you writers can learn from this book. Why? Because:

1) I write it like I write my blog. Like we’re—just me and you—chewing the rag. What does that mean? A read that shouldn’t bore you and put you to sleep.

Scott Morgan

2) It’s only eight rules. Scott Morgan (who wrote the best Foreword I’ve ever read—he’s the unknown co-star who steals the feature movie, excepting that I’m as unknown as him, calls them the Eight Commandments. Seriously, he knocks it out of the fucking park with his foreword. Go read it—you get that for free in the Amazon sample). See, why would I share that with you if I didn’t care about YOU as a writer?

3) This is the summation of what I have learned, all the fat and gunk boiled off the bone, leaving nothing but tender, falling-off-itself meat.

A beta reader who, yes, is a writer, said when she read Stephen King’s On Writing she highlighted 3-4 things. She said she put the highlighter away after a quarter of my book because she said the whole book would have basically been highlighted. I’m not bragging. She is a first time writing-her-first-book writer and in addition to proofing and giving me a beta read, she wanted to sneak in a “student session”.

So, you might say, “if you care so much about us writers, why is the book $4.99 and not free on Smashwords or at least 99 cents?” If you’re thinking that, then first, shame on you. Don’t get me started on the DEVALUATION of the written word. If you are a WRITER and you think someone’s blood, sweat, tears, aches, pains, and stress writing a book is worth less than the latté you buy at Starbucks every morning, well, I made a New Year’s resolution not to rant as much as last year, so I guess you’re entitled to your opinions. And you’ll buy the book or not. It’s been suggested to me (by more than one person who’s read it) if I charge one penny less than $11.99 I am screwing myself and giving it away for a pittance. Their words, not mine.

You think I wouldn’t love to pick up, what, $8 a copy from Amazon? Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: no one would buy it for that price. Probably not. But that’s not why I priced it at $4.99. I did it—swear to God—because that to me is a fair price and IS giving the readers twenty-plus years of what I’ve learned and believe in my SOUL makes for an exponentially better book.

I hope you read it. If you have to beg, borrow, or steal it, so be the case. There actually are a few secrets left out there, especially for the beginning writer. You don’t have to use them to sell a lot of books—Amanda Hocking and few other authors I know proved that you can climb the charts with a steaming pile of you-know-what from a quality perspective. Sure. You could roll the dice and try and market your book to the top. This book is about the CRAFT. About making your book as well-written as it can be—it’s about making you a better writer.

Yes, it’s my opinion. But what, you never bought a self-help book? You think Tony Robbins got where he is by shutting his mouth and being humbly quiet?

Tony Robbins (mea culpa, Tony)

(Tony, by the way, would have charged you $11.99, that horse-toothed son of a bitch. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a sarcastic guy. I like Tony. He uses the F-word in his seminars more than “and”. I honestly believe that Tony would lie down on the train tracks for you. He might change his mind at the last second, but I believe the guy is sincere in wanting to make you better—it’s also easy to want to make people better when you own your own Tahitian island, is all I’m saying. Tony, you didn’t get to where you are by giving away those $20,000 excursions to your island paradise.)

Sorry. A Tony Robbins tangent. Wow. You KNOW you write by the seat of your pants when you find yourself smack in the middle of a Tony Robbins tangent. Oh, and for you young ‘uns that make me feel ancient at 48 by saying “who’s Tony Robbins?” I’ll throw Tony a proper and give you the link to his site. It’s HERE. A great friend of mine has actually traveled to Tony’s Tahitian paradise. And my friend believes wholeheartedly in Robbins (and I believe wholeheartedly in my friend).

Aaaaanyway, enough defending. The book. INK: Eight Rules To A Better [One]. I’d love it if you’d buy a copy and USE it to make yourself a better author. We can all be better. Every last one of us from the least known to the most popular. There’s always someone better. I’m not saying I’m better than you. This book is about the traits I’ve studied over the years; the things I KNOW make for better reads. And let’s face it, all the reader wants is a page-turning, can’t-put-it-down, sucks them in book. INK will help you deliver that. For less than five dollars. My whole life’s learning is in there. And I didn’t write some boring tome of 300 pages of me running at the mouth.

One hundred pages. Eight rules. A conversational read.

Here’s what one writer/reviewer said, and I respect no one more than this man when it comes to writing. It’s Caleb Pirtle and I am reading his book Secrets of the Dead right now and I am BLOWN AWAY. I wish I didn’t have to be the writer, marketer, blogger, salesman, accountant, AND try to find time to keep three Australian Shepherds worked out enough that they don’t drive me insane because me and my dyslexic reading problem would not put down that book. I swear. The man’s a fucking poet, excuse my French. First line of his book (best I’ve ever read):

Even the late October sky wore black to her funeral.

Damn.

This is part of what he said about INK:

“There have been a lot of good books published on writing. Rank R. S. Guthrie’s Ink among them. His book is short, only about 100 pages. It’s to the point. It’s honest. It’s written simply because Guthrie cares about you as a writer. It’s as though he is seated across the table, having a late night conversation with you on the art of good writing while you sip your beverage of choice. What he says, if you are or want to be a writer, is worth remembering. What he says can make all the difference in the world.”

Don’t take my word for it. I love all you writers out there. I’ve pined over writing this book for years. There are so many “Sell A Million Copies” and “Ten Ways to Making It as a Writer!” type books out there. Try this one. You can tell me I’m full of shit. That’s fair. Have Amazon return your money if you hate it—that’s what returns are for. I’m not trying to hustle you. For five bucks? If I was going to hustle you I’d be getting my $8 royalty. I priced this where I thought it was affordable and fair and where I might still not die homeless under a bridge trying to be a writer.

Oh, and BUY CALEB’S BOOKS.

God that guy can write.

And if there’s anyone out there who’d like to do a solid and help me blog the word out, tweet it, Facebook the beans out of it, I’d be forever grateful.

Whatever you do, wherever you go, whatever you buy or don’t buy, don’t ever forget:

Write on.

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The blank page is dead…long live the blank page.

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Author known to use spontaneous satire, sarcasm, and unannounced injections of pith or witticisms which may not be suitable for humorless or otherwise jest-challenged individuals. (Witticisms not guaranteed to be witty, funny, comical, hilarious, clever, scintillating, whimsical, wise, endearing, keen, savvy, sagacious, penetrating, fanciful, or otherwise enjoyable. The Surgeon General has determined through laboratory testing that sarcasm can be dangerous, even in small amounts, and should not be ingested by those who are serious, somber, pensive, weighty, funereal, unsmiling, poker-faced, sober, or pregnant.)